Richie Rich: Report of Wild Things #2

The second Wild Things session was a blast, quite literally in-game, with six players for Richie Rich.

The job: Escort Richard William Dickens IV to the Sioux Nation, where he wants to see the local wildlife. That is, ladies at clubs AND buffalo.

The team:

  • Sergeant Sam, a Street Samurai who loves it when he doesn’t have to act polite
  • H.R., a bow-wielder who likes shooting arrows into people’s faces
  • Carl, a combat mage Wildcat army veteran enjoying heavy liquor
  • Eiger, a bodyguard troll capable of smashing any fool messing with her charge
  • Charmante, a huntress who can handle any environment. Except urban ones…
  • Mae, an Aztlan Facemage who has to clean up the mess of others way too much

The team were called together in Seattle and received the assignment to play bodyguard for Richard William Dickens IV,. And yes, both the Corporate Fixer and mister Dickens expected jokes about his name. When later they called him “Dick Dickens”, he immediately corrected it to “Dick Willy Dickens the Fourth”.

‘Mister Dickens’, an uncouth thrillseeking billionaire and heir to a fortune, wanted Wild Life Incorporated’s troubleshooters to accompany him to Cheyenne, protect him while clubbing, then escort him on his way to hunt buffalo in co-operation with the locals. Wild Life Incorporated’s connections were good enough to help him get what he wanted, and he liked having some proper security for him and his entourage. Since the locals spoke a lot of different languages, several secondary Faces would be hired to help with the initial interactions. Half the team speaking Ka-ne-tsv, the Sioux lingua franca, also would be useful against the language barrier.

Since the Sioux Nation has significantly different firearm laws, the company arranged for replacements. For starters, a heavy pistol carried openly was a must. Each member of the team received a Nemesis Arms Praetorian, a heavy pistol with an engraved bayonet fitted to the person. Sam’s held a cameo pattern, H.R. had the feathers of arrows upside down on his, Carl had flamed, Eiger a mountain icon, Charmante a snarling wolf and Mae a single rose with a thorny stem. Their illegal toys would be smuggled into the country and handed to them once they left Cheyenne. They found out later that their charge, Richard, owned two heavy revolvers, one brown-red and one lapis.

After they got to the airport in Seattle, the first test for the team was the booze supply on Rich’s private jet. They were actively encouraged to go wild, an offer most accepted with glee. From >500¥ beers to 15,000¥ Tír Tairngire liquor bottles, even enjoying >120-proof Vodka and Absinthe, the team consumed well, most of them in an uncouth manner, and passed the first test. Rich decapitating a beer bottle with one of his revolvers also made clear what he thought of manners, to the dismay of his entourage. He told the troubleshooters that once in Sioux, they should keep their illegal toys hidden. While chatting along he sent a secret message to their commlinks, noting “pull them out at my sign, you’ll know when”…


After hopping through a few other countries, the team landed at Cheyenne. Here they were welcomed by a lot of soldiers, led by a general who greeted them in a friendly hostile manner. Mae, as a citizen of Aztlan, and Anglo teammembers immediately got a taste of subtle discrimination as they were completely ignored. It was clear that money spoke but did not get goodwill in return, even if it paved the way.

At the luxury Corporate hotel a scene arose when Rich wanted to check in while speaking English, so the receptionist kept asking in Dakota what he wanted. Ignoring poor Mae her matrix-translate attempts and a rude H.R. writing insults for Rich to use, the receptionist insisted until her boss noticed who the customer was… And ever a playboy Rich made sure to express his appreciation for her attitude, and gave her a spare roomkey.

Before making his evening plans, Rich wanted to know if the team had some proper nice clothing. Appreciating their answers, he then told them to NOT wear those and change into the most unpolite thing they had. When all but Mae had done so, the team went to the hotel restaurant and played bodyguards while enjoying awesome food and shocking both the locals and mister Dickens his entourage. Afterwards they left for the nightclub Intensity, a place without bias pro- or con-NAN.

Outside Intensity, SDF troops immediately picked a fight with the team and one decided arresting people would be a good idea. Given how this endangered Richard and could be an assassination attempt, guns were drawn very quickly and accusations of treason made very vocal. With a big lapis revolver in the face of the idiot, H.R. cursing, Eiger being a massive troll and Carl’s SIN noting he was a former Wildcat, the troops were intimidated into not starting a firefight. Carl called his former commanding officer, who quickly realized the mess and made arrangements to call back the troops. As for Rich’s advisor, the poor man nearly died of stress.

Inside Intensity, it wasn’t long before the playboy tore a couple in two. The pissed boyfriend got distracted by a flirting Mae, which helped prevent a scene. Three men later, however, were clearly out for a fight. Once they noticed the knife behind their back and started a brawl, however, they quickly realized they were outmatched by being beaten in mere seconds. Since technically the team could sell self-defense, they weren’t kicked out and Rich picked up several more ladies before leaving. All astrally vetted by the mages, who noticed one girl had a headache but that was the only suspicious thing they noticed.

Back at the hotel, Mae summoned a spirit to help sweep the entire penthouse. Unlike the mages, this spirit did notice the lady with a headache had a cortex bomb. Attempted misdirection while leading her away, panic, Richard enabling the penthouse’s Faraday Cage, security calls, police aid and a careful disarming later, it ended with a sizzle. The team questioned the lady’s friends, who had no idea who could have done this, why, when or where. They also playfully accused Rich’s advisor, who was very shocked and vehemently denied it all despite standard trid-show cliches. Eventually Rich went to bed with several ladies, Eiger locked herself into the guestroom and the rest of the team and entourage slept in the other penthouse.


The next day the team left Cheyenne in an SUV convoy, picking up their illegal gear from corporate agents on the way. Their various Sioux faces got them past both military and civilian checkpoints without hassle. Eventually they reached the locals, a tribe not fond of technology. There they tried riding horses, which several failed at. Carl ended up using his combat training to intimidate his ride, H.R. got a mule, a few others rode a car instead. Rich got to take down a buffalo with bow-and-arrow, and then they went to a White Buffalo herd to sightsee. And just as the team feared, rather quickly poachers appeared from a nearby forest. In two GMC Banshees…

As Rich took out a milspec Sniper Rifle, he also sent a single instruction to all troubleshooters: Gun ’em down. Two combat spirits, sniper rifles, an explosive arrow, an overcast combat spell, an Assault Cannon Round and only 2 seconds later the Banshees started crashing down to the ground, with only one having been able to fire back once. The team rushed towards the t-birds while their spirits massacred one of the crews. A dead and a few alive prisoners later, Richard and his advisor entered the now-secured plane. Rich smiled and told the prisoners “Rather poorly done, but one question. Why didn’t you fire at me from the start?” The guilty look in their eyes was all he needed to aim his red gun at his advisor and blow the man to kingdom come.

The team decided to call their boss, asking if Wild Life Incorporated wanted these poachers. “Ask them if they like Sudoku.” Their guilty eyes proved they did, so the prisoners were hidden. When the entourage and locals finally caught up, Rich took the lead and lied that there had been one survivor, who killed his poor advisor before H.R. got to kill him. To the surprise of the team, Rich lied so well that everyone fell for it. Had they not been there, they too would have believed him.

After an awesome evening meal with delicious buffalo meat later, and a peaceful paranoid night, the team drove back to Cheyenne and flew out of there. And now they knew that the advisor had been playing Richard, giving him advice to trick him into ignoring it and entering into hostile situations. The aggressive clubgoers, the cortex bomb assassination attempt and even the poachers sent to kill him knowing he’d go to visit the White Buffalo herds, were all his doing. But Rich had known something was up, and so had played along only after arranging for competent backup. The only question remaining for Wild Life Incorporated, was who was behind both this and the previous sabotage.

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